Daring to think “outside of the box” during my semester break, I experimented with the various new techniques I’ve learned, anxiously yearning for the day that I can meld all the skills together. My first professors were wonderful, personable, remarkably accomplished and skillfully talented, opening my mind to an immense plethora of notions! Most importantly my Photography teacher, who challenged me, bringing out the best in me, accomplishing things that I didn’t think were possible! She will never know exactly what her impact had on me, my life or my passion; it is beyond words and something I will forever remember and be grateful for.
Accomplishing a 4.0 average during my first semester. Elated with all straight A’s at my age and raising three trying boys (two troubling drama filled teenagers!) encourages me to continue to aim high. The fact that I still yearn for more proficient abilities in this field, supports my assessment that this is more than a hobby for me: it really IS my passion, what drives me, what I look forward to every day when I get up and true happiness.
You see; I am still a “CLOSET BLOGGER”. Neither close friends, Facebook family, nor my immediate family know that I blog. Why? Growing so much in five short months already, I am not willing to reveal the details until the sponge in me has absorbed every little nook and cranny of information, that all of my brilliant professors fill me with. Comparing the difference between my PAID work of a year ago, versus the abilities they’ve equipped me with now? Jaw dropping! Almost disappointing in a way, wanting to reshoot everything! Does every photographer feel that way from time to time? This semester? Full dedication to the field in different areas yielding more ideas, concepts and bringing them to life to share! Fast forward to a year from now? My thoughts will most likely be that my work of first year will FAIL in comparison to the second year!
Anxious for the coming semester, facing it with the same tenacity as I started my first semester with; I will strive for perfection to meet my professors expectations, achieve my goals that meet my own “success” factors and strengthen assurance in my novice work. When I am secure in filling my own “self-confidence” bucket, then I’ll be ready to display what I’ve learned in it’s entirety.
Life continues to bring struggles, conflict and turmoil that most people would NOT endure while trying to achieve this extensive goal. Turmoil and conflicts, which may lead to ultimate failure: if these complications roadblock my path and I am unable to complete my dream of fulfilling my passion. When you look back on the days of our Grandparents, Great Grandparents and etc, without the modern technology that we have the convenience of, they accomplished what we thought would be impossible by today’s standards. This gives me faith and encourages me to push onward. Until then, I will learn as much as I can learn, go as far as I can go, dedicate myself to meeting my GPA standards and eventually, ultimately persevere. In the end, I can foresee that there is a book waiting for the story to be told of the personal difficulties and secrets that lay within, beyond the walls of my education.
The day that I find victory is the day that I will release, unleash and say: “For those of you who condemned, judged, told me I wouldn’t do it, couldn’t do it, I was too old, those who recommended I should stick with my successful boring unhappy business career, suggested that I have too many personal family conflicts to achieve the GPA I have proved I can earn, those who were unsupportive, questioned why I would choose such a field, find photography ludicrous, absurdly unheard of as a career, stated it was a ridiculous gamble that is not lucrative, stated that it may make me happy but not secure because happy doesn’t pay the bills and said NO.” I will say “Watch me, I will, I did and here I am.”
Until then, this is my documented journey!